Women, I NEED to say something very deep, something that’s been sitting with me for quite a while. Something that is too important NOT to say.
So many women I meet are hiding. So many women who have no idea how amazing they are, how utterly fantastic they can be.
They are hiding and they are not following their dreams because they think they are ‘not good enough’ or they are ‘damaged goods’ and so they don’t deserve a good life.
And they feel this way because of things that have happened to them. Things that are NOT their fault.
Maybe they were neglected or abused as children. Maybe they are in or have left an abusive relationship. Maybe they were bullied. Or maybe they have done something they blame themselves for such as have an abortion or self-harm and they feel this makes them less worthy than others.
So many women are hiding because they feel they don’t deserve…….sometimes anything!
Well, I want to tell you this. YOU have so many qualities because of what you have been through that if you were aware of them all it would blow your mind and you’d see just how amazing your life could be. Scary isn’t it? For those of us who have spent so long hiding that is? To question we might actually be worthy of being seen!
And I don’t want to disregard all the negative stuff, all the shit we are left to pick up and deal with when we have had a hard life, when we have been neglected and abused and hurt, so very hurt…..
And I’m not for one moment suggesting that all the pain we are left with just goes away, because it doesn’t…..
I know….. I’ve been there, I still sometimes go there….. I really do know!
But let me tell you that BECAUSE of what you have been through, whether you believe it or not right now, you have qualities at such profound levels that make you stand out. Qualities that can be used to help you to be successful, in any area of your life.
You have so many good things inside of you that make you likeable to everyone. And here’s just a few of them;
1. You are strong. OMG you are strong. You have came through such hellish times and you’re still standing. Your strength can carry you through almost anything now, if you let it.
2. You are competent. This goes hand in hand with being independent. And it may bring feelings of sadness when you acknowledge that you are this way because you had to be – because quite often there was no one else to look after you, so you grew up and took care for yourself. Your have skills that mean you’ll survive no matter what life throws at you. You are a survivor.
3. You are compassionate and this oozes out of you like a waterfall. I bet your friends describe you as being empathic, as often knowing what they need before they ask, as being the one they can all talk to. And again it may bring feelings of sadness when you realise that you’re so compassionate because you know what it’s like it to not receive that compassion or that you’re used to putting others needs before your own. But it is such a lovely quality to have and one that will take you far as people will know they can trust you, that you are the one that will always have their back.
4. You are giving. You knew what it was like not to receive, and I don’t just means tangible things but hugs, and looks and words and thoughts and smiles. You give those away freely now and people know you are genuine and they love you for it.
I know there is much more that I’ve not touched upon here but those are the main qualities I see in people who have been hurt by life and the qualities that if acknowledged can help you to go on and achieve anything you want.
So what I want to ask you now is to take some time and to think about what your needs are? What are your dreams? Your desires? What do you really want from life? When you’re an old lady sitting in your rocking chair with your grandchildren around you, what stories do you want to be telling them? That’s where the magic is, those are the paths that you should follow.
And if you come to a place in life where you can learn to acknowledge your own needs and wants and desires. And if you can learn to believe that you deserve the life you want, then this combined with all those strengths and wonderful qualities that you already possess…..your strength, your competency, your independence, your giving nature, your empathy, your compassion….then I know that you can truly have the life you want because you’re a force to be reckoned with. You’ve had it hard, you’ve been knocked down but you got up again…..you’re a fighter, a survivor and who wouldn’t want to have you on their side? Who wouldn’t want to know you?
So please don’t hold yourself back. It’s ok to be scared and to feel fear, we all do, but please don’t let it control you. No more ‘but’s’ and ‘what if’s?’ No more sitting around thinking about all the things you want to do. All of these strengths, those wonderful, beautiful parts of you born out of hurt and neglect and guilt, they’re here to stay. No one can take them from you. They’ve helped you survive your past and they’ll help your future to blossom too.
So start allowing yourself to dream, start believing in yourself, start making those plans and then begin to put them in action.
And watch as the magic unfolds and your world becomes brighter.
Because I promise you….
You CAN ❤